Tuesday, December 29, 2009

10 On Tuesday

OK, so since it's almost the end of the year, I'm going to go ahead and make my first SNDR 10onT a Goal List for 2010. So here goes!

1) I'm going to learn to use that shiny new sewing machine my MIL gave me for Christmas. :) It sure is pretty. And I really did want one. That doesn't mean I have the first clue how to actually use it. The Hubband took home ec. in school....I didn't...so this could be pretty interesting!

2) I will transform my bedroom into an oasis. (Yeah, right...) Really all I want is to have no more hampers lining the wall along my side of the bed. Our room is the dumping ground when people are coming over. I fold the laundry, put it in the hampers, bring the hampers upstairs, sort the laundry, and inevitably something comes up where one of the Hubband's friends is stopping by, or my mom is coming up or the ILs are going to be stopping by for whatever reason - so the clothes get dumped back into the hampers and the hampers go into my room so they're out of the way. And they stay there....f.o.r.e.v.e.r. Or at least it seems like it. I'm going to get them all out of my room and I'm not going to allow them back in. (I hope.)

3) I really really *need* to stop swearing. I'm pretty good about it when the kids are awake and around, but when I'm out with friends (like that ever happens) or I'm talking on the phone after they're asleep....yeah, I cuss like a trucker. Or as my Grandma would say, I use dock language. It's really not very ladylike. I'll give myself some slack on this one, considering that I do believe this to be a genetic disorder (MOM), but I at least need to cut out my current level of use of the f-bomb.

4) It's about that bin of yarn and knitting needles that belonged to my Grandma. She's probably not too happy with me that it's *still* just sitting there, so I need to do something with it. Like, I don't know, learn to knit. Yeah. I've tried before and I got way too frustrated. It's time I give that another go!

5) OK, back to the bedroom....because I currently *hate* it. So, if I can get the no more hampers thing down this year, I'll reward myself by finally getting around to recovering or replacing our ugly (and I do mean UGLY) headboard. Ideally, I'd like to paint the room, too. It's currently a dark blue that I've never been fond of. In pictures, the color looks similar to that of gym mats. Yeah. It's not *that* bad in person, but I still don't like it!

6) I'm going to make time for myself and my friends. I haven't had a girls' night out since July. Before that, it had been over a year. Yeah. I don't have a lot of close friends where I live - I moved her from a small town, and most of my close friends live an hour or so away. SO, I'm going to make an effort to *make* close friends here, and more of an effort to spend time with my friends who live further away.

7) I will try out a new recipe at least once a month. That's harder than it sounds. The Hubband likes to grill....all year round....which means I dont' always get to cook as much as I'd like. And, with two kids and a busy schedule, I do tend to fall back on the old stand-by meals. I enjoy cooking and I have a stack of cookbooks that's almost as tall as I am...not to mention the countless recipes available on the internet...so there's really no excuse.

8) I am going to find small ways to give back to my community. I resolved last year to give to area food banks, and I've done that a few times, but not as much as I had hoped. I'm a frequent-giver to Purple Heart and the Salvation Army, which always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, but I do want to up it a bit this year. We have way too much stuff, and I'd like to learn to live just as well with less of it - although I'm not sure how the kids will feel about that when it comes to their toys.

9) I will train for and run at least one 5k - but I'd like to do 3. I'm a fair-weather runner. I don't enjoy running in the rain, or when it gets too cold. And once it starts getting dark earlier, I don't feel safe going out for a run in the evenings - even with my 85lb labrador chaperone. So I have to start all over from square one with the training when it gets warm again. Until then, I'll do workouts on Excercise TV and hope not to fall completely out of shape!

10) My sleep habits need to be competely readjusted. I've always been a night owl, and having kids didn't help that any. I love spending time with my kids, but by the end of the day I am so tired from mommying that I need some time to decompress. So I sit on my bum in front of the TV and relax for a few hours. (I watch entirely too much TV.) I start cleaning the house at around 11:30, then I go online for a while, pick up toys and such, and then start getting ready for bed at around 1am. And then I read for awhile. So when the kids wake up in the morning I'm struggling to stay awake with them, and I usually end up "resting my eyes" for a bit in the morning while we all snuggle on the couch watching Nick Jr. or Disney. I've got to get that under control. Now.

So there you have it. Goals to work toward. Let's see how this goes!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Great Expectations

I am not one of those people who was blessed with a great deal of ambition (maybe that's a blessing?). Nor do I have a seriously kick-ass work ethic. Which is why I knew from the get-go that all I really wanted in life was to be a stay-at-home-mom. I made no secret of it - and I'm fortunate that the hubband & I are able to pull it off (although admittedly, sometimes we're cuttin' it close). What I didn't realize - or actually, what I wouldn't allow myself to admit - was that I was signing up for the single most difficult, time-consuming, burnout-causing job in existence. I'm not saying it's not rewarding ~ I *love* being home with my kids and I wouldn't trade that for the world ~ BUT did you know that there's much more to it than mommying! I KNOW! Shocked the hell out of me, too.

I thought I'd jump right into this gig with both feet and rock the heck out of it. In actuality, most days I feel like I'm kickin' ass if I'm operating at a solid 40%. Seriously. I'm lucky if I manage to do a few loads of laundry during the day. I'm pretty good about getting the day's dishes into the dishwasher and running it before I go to bed...most nights. I rarely - and I mean *rarely* wake up to floors that are toy-free and a naked kitchen counter.

My husband was raised by the Donna Reed-esque equivalent of a Polish cleaning ninja. And I know that he knows that those are hard shoes to fill. It's difficult to keep up with a house that's inhabited by 2 adults 2 kids & 2 dogs. But I also know that he truly believes that all women were born with his mother's ninja cleaning skills and he expects me to live up to the standards that were set for him long long ago. Oh, how disappointing for him that the only time our laundry is caught up is in the wake of one of my mother's visits.

For my own part, I half expected to morph into a domestic goddess who suddenly loved scrubbing baseboards and went all a-twitter over a sparkling clean sink. Yeah, that didn't happen so much.

All this to say that we've both had to adjust our expectations. I *expect* him to notice & acknowledge that stuff got done during the day. And he *expects* me to "do a little bit every day". (What he doesn't yet realize is that I have to do the same little bit every day - otherwise we'd all be naked and very very hungry.) We both recognize that I'm not perfect - I'm not trying to be perfect - I'm simply striving for our own level of household contentment. Whatever that means.

SO - follow me on the journey & I'll share fun stuff with you. Like photos of my overflowing laundry chute (maybe), anecdotes about how I threw my back out digging toys out from under the couch (probably), and the random posting about craft projects, photography, decorating and cooking (definitely).


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